How many years have you been working on your golf swing?
God and St Peter Decided on a Round of Golf in Heaven Golf Hole.
Peter is a testament to material values, decked out as he is in the latest golf fashion, with a brand new set of clubs and all the accountrements. God, in contrast, is a picture of virtue wearing his old gardening clothes and trailing a tatty old canvas bag with a real mixture of ancient and rusting clubs, some of which even have hickory shafts.
On the first hole St Peter smacks a beauty 275 yards straight down the middle. God, however, tops his drive that trickles along the ground. It only travels about 70 yards but just before it’s about to stop a rabbit runs out of the gorse, grabs the ball in its mouth and hurtles off down the fairway while St Peter watches in astonishment.
Before the rabbit can reach safety, however, a magnificent eagle swoops down and snares the rabbit in its talons before rising majestically, the rabbit still struggling in its grasp but defiantly holding the golf ball in its mouth. As the eagle soars over the green a bolt of a lightning from a clear blue sky strikes it, killing the bird instantly.
It drops the rabbit, which in turn drops the golf ball, which strikes a sprinkler head at the side of the green and takes one bounce straight into the hole for an ace on a par-5 hole. St Peter slowly turns and says to God:
‘Are you going to show off all day or are we here to play golf?’