Dr. Judith Wright | August 13, 2019
Why Am I Jealous of Others’ Success?
We’ve all experienced feelings of envy and jealousy.
Do you feel green with envy over successes that aren’t your own? Here’s why we feel jealous of others’ success and how to address it.
Maybe you’re jealous of others’ success at work. Perhaps you’re envious of your friend’s great relationship, or their seemingly fabulous life.
In this day and age, when people share so much on social media, it’s easy to look at photos and Facebook announcements and feel a twinge of FOMO (fear of missing out) or concern that the realities of your life don’t quite measure up.
Why do we feel jealous of others’ good fortune? Why do we covet our friends’ lives? Is jealousy really so bad? And what should we do to clear up those green-with-envy moments?
The Haves and the Have-Not’s
There are a lot of ways to look at jealousy. If we view it from the perspective of psychologist Alfred Adler, jealousy stems from our inferiority complex.
Everyone has an inferiority complex. If you think someone doesn’t have one, you don’t know him or her well enough. Feelings of inferiority are embedded deep in our psyche. It’s part of growing up and navigating our world. As children, we’re fighting our siblings to get our parents’ attention. We’re fighting our way through a big world when we’re small. We’re learning about our limitations. These feelings are a natural part of being human.
When you view the success of those around you, you may interpret their accomplishment to mean you’re somehow inadequate.
Only you can put yourself in that interpretation and try to drag others down with you because of your jealousy and the decisions you have made with your own life and the inability to cope with it.
Jealous people make up false stories to hurt others when they don’t know all of the facts; but, that is life.
Jealousy is always the “root of all evil.”