November 27, 2020
Joe ‘palm-tificates’ on Thanksgiving
By Jeannie DeAngelis
Directly from the Office of the President-Elect, this Thanksgiving, Joe Biden, the Catholic who advocates for late-term abortion, shared Thanksgiving insights as well as Holy Scripture with a nation that recognizes insincerity when it hears it.
Joe’s Thanksgiving address was rumored to be viewed by a whopping 1,000 of his 80,000,000 fans, most of whom, if this is true, managed to vote but lacked the strength to push the button on the remote. Joe began his sober message by droning on about COVID’s negative impact on Thanksgiving and by claiming Trump’s response to the virus and vaccine schedule as his own.
Besides Bible memory verses, Joe’s Thanksgiving Day sermon also included predictable references to his dead son Beau, “the soul of our nation,” “the long hard winter ahead of us,” and “the grim season of division.” The only thing missing was a reference to “Dr.” Jill Biden.
Assisting the man who claimed that during his tenure, “the rise of the oceans [would] begin to slow,” Biden intimated that he would finish the job Obama started by promising to “save the planet” and cure cancer.
Reading off a teleprompter in front of a jaundiced yellow backdrop, sallow Joe preached that in America, he views wearing a mask as a “patriotic duty.” Then, notwithstanding the continual tacit antagonism directed toward Donald J. Trump peppered throughout the speech, Joe the Lover reminded us all that with a fraudster in charge, America is now about “loving our neighbor as ourselves.”
Failing to recall that our nation is a representative republic, Joe lauded how “democracy” was demonstrated in an election where fewer voters garnered millions more votes. Then, wrapping up a message of discriminatory unity and fealty, the self-proclaimed “President-Elect,” who emulated Jesus’s miracle of the loaves and fishes by multiplying data dumps and paper ballots, ended his speech by palm-tificating” to a rapt country he believes clings to his every mumble.
Didn’t Joe attend Mass over the years where a priest recited the weekly responsorial psalm?
Hasn’t Joe ever heard the word “Psalm” pronounced? Because while waxing all spiritual for Thanksgiving, Joe ‘ps-claimed’ words were spoken by King David the “palm-ist” in the following way:
Due to lack of mental acuity, did Joe “Batty-Calf-Care” Biden forget that 70-plus-million bitter Bible clingers voted for Trump and that most of the president’s supporters have their ears finely attuned to scriptural context and meaning? How would Joe pronounce other books in the “Holly Bible”: Gena-see-sis? Eclee-ass-testes? Gala-she-anons? Come on, man!
Either way, when quoting “Palm 27,” Joe shouldn’t have stopped at verse seven; he should have continued to verse nine. In verse nine, King David beseeches the Lord, saying, “Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.” Funny, but that verse sounds more like Joe’s and his vicious political associates’ treatment of Trump than it does anything Biden may try to squeeze out of its meaning to support his secular cause.
With that in mind for any future holiday messages, maybe instead, Biden the biblical scholar should quote from Planned Parenthood’s mission statement, or even the Communist Manifesto, two documents heathens like Joe commit to memory.
In the meantime, true people of prayer and Scripture will continue to call out godless socialists and false prophets like Joe Biden for pushing their counterfeit spirituality and overt hypocrisy.