What is shame?  The definition of shame is the painful feeling of having lost respect because of something wrong done by oneself or another.  Loss of honor or respect.  This picture of shame enters a lot of people’s lives.  It,  in a lot of cases, influences the decisions they make.  As a child growing up, it can stigmatize a child because of his family’s background.   Examples are: an alcoholic  family, family structure, family monetary value, and person’s self-worth.  The parents lack of encouragement of their children is one of the biggest  factors that seems to permeate society.  All children must be taught the difference between winning and failure and the manner in which it is achieved and how it is handled by the person.

The first failure is the alcoholic family which can affect a child in having shame toward their family life.  The family life is chaotic and confusing to the child.  The child is ashamed to bring others into his home and feels isolated, especially when that child visits other children’s home and witnesses the difference in the lifestyle.  Only the alcoholic can correct this himself!  In most alcoholic cases, the family can lose everything because of this addiction and lack of control. 

The family structure has changed in our country due to the  possibility of two men or two women consisting of  the family or one single man or woman as the base of the family which affects the financial situation – rather than a family consisting of a man and woman.  This often affects children in their emotional stability.

A family’s monetary worth stigmatized a lot of children.  The children are thrown into a society of diversity.  They immediately recognize who the rich children are and the manner in which groups are formed within society.  This should be discussed early on with children that money does not make a person.  These people might have all of the things that your child does not have; but, it must be emphasized and the reasoning behind it in order not to hinder the advancement and withdrawal of your child.  Just because a family is monetarily worth more than your family, the child should be just as proud of his parents and include them in his school life.  Because in the end, the child’s growth is the important factor and the parents support in his growth is the biggest factor of a child’s development for success. 

Encouraging children on an ongoing basis is one of the biggest hurdles for parents.  Using the right amount of discipline.  In most cases this power is relinquished.  Urging children that the amount of success they achieve can only be accomplished by what they and only they put into it.  Money doesn’t buy respect – it is earned!  In this country, the sky is the limit – if only you reach for it.  

No one should ever be ashamed of anything in their life as long as they follow the ten commandments.  These must be put on the table early in their life so that a child can learn and live within these measures.

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